Article and Illustration by Mallika Sunder

Why is it that OnlyFans users (mostly female) have almost doubled in number when the Pandemic recession hit? (theguardian.com) Why is it that strippers on social media, showing off their money attract so much attention from young girls? Why is it that I hear my female friends joking that they can always get a sugar daddy if they can’t pay off college loans? Ask any of these women who have done these things and they will most likely tell you how it empowers them, and how they get to choose what they do with their body. It almost seems beautiful for a second- a world where women get to be sexual in any way at any time in any context, getting more and more empowered by displaying their self-love. But this is not the world we live in. We live in a world where the top searches on PornHub are “barely legal” and “rape”. (fightthenewdrug.org) We live in a world where women are forced to turn to abusive sex work jobs to make ends meet. We live in a world where patriarchy is the norm, and yes, women can sell their sexuality and feel ‘empowered’, but it is the men who really have the last laugh. It is men that are on the other side of the screen, watching these women, and silently thanking Victoria’s Secret and Playboy for glamorizing and commodifying sex to young women. I don’t mean to say that feminism should not include sex- sex is a natural thing of life that can bring joy and fulfillment to many women, and denying women that right to sexual fulfillment sets a precedent where women have to sacrifice their personal joy for the sake of furthering the feminist movement. No- sex positivity is important, but we must consider: are the OnlyFans performers really empowered by commodifying their bodies or are they simply reflecting societal desires for what women should be? This is why we cannot blindly follow choice feminism rhetoric. 

But first, I want to establish what I mean by choice feminism. Choice feminism is the idea that feminists can do anything to reach empowerment. As Claire Snyder-Hall writes in Third Wave Feminism and the Defense of Choice, one woman told her “feminism is about personal empowerment, and the choice to be a stripper is personally empowering”. Essentially, the means justify the end. Snyder-Hall also discusses how radicals criticized choice feminists for being ‘complacent with the patriarchy’, which has caused a split in second-wave feminism that has led to the dichotomy we see today, and the main issue of contention between these two sides is the issue of how women should express their sexuality (if at all). Feminists like Andrea Dworkin argue that expressing any (heterosexual) sexuality is catering to the patriarchy, while other feminists, like the stripper from Snyder-Hall’s paper argue that doing sexual acts like pornography or stripping helps, or is necessary for achieving empowerment. Sex relies heavily on natural power dynamics between the people engaging in it, and oftentimes, these are influenced by how we perceive race, gender and class in our society. Because we live in a post-sexual revolution society, sex is all around us. To discuss the issue of sex is to discuss the issue of power, who should have it and how it should be used. Therefore, it is important to recognize that these two branches’ opinions on sex are one of the greatest divides in feminism, and our biggest issue to work out.

I don’t fully agree with either side, but don’t disagree with them either. I think sex positivity is simply a part of nature, and the feminist movement cannot ask women to give up having sex with someone (male or not). But we also cannot just support women doing anything to achieve their means of empowerment, because whether we like it or not, we live in a patriarchy, and from a young age, we are conditioned to like this patriarchy. We are conditioned to still crave male validation despite their abuse and exploitation. We are conditioned to almost perform this idea of what they want women to be, and enjoy it. In this context, I refer to women who perform the kind of porn or are attracted to the sexual acts performed by Belle Knox as mentioned in Michelle Ferguson’s Choice Feminism’s Honey Trap. “She (Knox) tells us she is aware that other women are abused in the porn industry, but she isn’t – so we can’t assume that she is the victim of coercive producers. She tells us this is her free choice, so now we are just being paternalistic if we start to question whether she is in denial about some childhood trauma that led her into porn. She may star in rough sex films, but she’s engaging in these sex acts consensually, so it is “a horrifying accusation” to suggest that her work perpetuates rape fantasies.” (Fergurson). We need to remember that patriarchy affects men as well, and though some men are not like this, a lot of men are conditioned to be misogynistic, and manifest their hatred towards women through violence or sexism. Violence and (extreme) sexism, like sexual harassment or stalking is not legal in our society, but sexual whipping, slapping, rape role-play and much, much more are common occurrences on porn websites. Likewise, the same strippers counting their hundreds of dollars and expensive lifestyles on social media are also subject to a lot of sexual misconduct and harassment from their clients. What is left unsaid in these examples is the fact that these are avenues for men to ‘get away’ with their violent, misogynistic urges. If a man wants to rape a woman, he would be violating the law. Instead, he could convince his girlfriend that roleplaying rape during sex would be ‘empowering’ because it is technically consensual, and he could satisfy these urges. We need to understand that sex needs to be genuinely fulfilling to all parties involved, and if the same feminists encouraging these acts of violence were to self-introspect as to why they are attracted to these things, they might be able to discover the internalized misogyny that drives their decisions. When I say feminists, by the way, I also mean men, because they too, are contributors to this culture of sexual violence, and also have internalized misogyny they need to rid themselves of. Instead of succumbing to the trappings of choice feminism, feminists need to be more self conscious and try to educate themselves about their decisions, so even those who may be well-meaning do not do things that will harm more women. Along with men, there is an audience for instagram strippers and kinky pornstars of young girls, who will see these things and think that that is what it means to be ‘grown up’ and sexual. Sex should be something that brings true joy and fulfillment to feminists, even after this self reflection. We need to be sex- positive, but encourage sex for what it always has been, even before things like misogyny or modern-day gender roles- as a way to just have fun, or build intimacy in a relationship. 

Adhering to some radical feminists’ anti-sex views like political celibacy, or ‘converting’ to lesbianism (as a straight woman) is just as harmful to women as the choice feminist’s no-limits policy on sexuality. “One cannot be free, never, not ever, in an unfree world, and in the course of redefining family, church, power relations, all the institutions which inhabit and order our lives, there is no way to hold onto privilege and comfort.” (Dworkin 2019). Policies like these that almost punish a woman for existing and having normal sexual urges. While some sexual tendencies are rooted in misogyny, not all of them are, and honestly, women have had enough policing on their joy. Policies like these set a precedent for women that they need to give up some of the things that have the potential to bring them joy in order to further the movement. Feminism should be about women feeling empowered and confident, and joy should be at the center of that empowerment. There is a growing group of feminists that push academic careers, especially in STEM, on to girls just for the sake of increasing the diversity in these fields, and similarly, feminists who shame women for prioritizing their home life over their work life because it ‘makes feminists look bad’ (westridgespyglass.org). Sheryl Sandberg fits in this category of feminists. Her work sets a tone that encourages women to ‘be more likable’ or ‘work themselves to the bone’ to get to the top of some corporate power structure, just because that is what she believes as the truest form of empowerment. In an interview with Inc.com, she said: “I'm a pragmatist. I think, as a woman, you have to be more careful. You have to be more communal, you have to say yes to more things than men, you have to worry about things that men don't have to worry about. But once we get enough women into leadership, we can break stereotypes down. If you lead, you get to decide.” (inc.com) She essentially argues that even though women may not know they want this life, in reality they do, because women are conditioned to leave powerful positions to men. Although I do agree this is true, I disagree that this means that all women need to force themselves to make sacrifices for their mental and physical health to become CEOs. A woman might find fulfillment and joy taking care of the home and children, which is just a natural thing for humans in general to love doing. Should she be forced to sacrifice this to spend her days in an office, slaving away while apart from the things she loves? Likewise, should a woman who is fascinated by her job and loves the working environment be forced to stay at home away from the things she loves? No- to both cases. Being sex-positive is being JOY positive. Sex positivity is not about forcing women to have sex, or forcing women to not have sex. It is important that the feminism movement protects and serves the women who the movement was built for, and demanding unreasonable things of them is not sustainable for their mental health, and the health of the movement.

However, this mode of informed-choice feminism, like any other political ideology, is not without some criticism. Claire Snyder-Hall criticizes the label of ‘choice’ in choice feminism because it trivializes the decisions women are forced to make, and implies they always do have a choice. I agree that many of the women we see as porn stars and strippers are forced into those positions, either through sex trafficking or for economic reasons. But being forced to do something isn’t making a ‘choice’, it is just simply being forced to do something. These people are not the kind of choice feminists the informed-choice feminists intend to criticize. Instead, they criticize women who do have the choice to not perform or promote violent acts of sex and sexist environments but do anyways. We do not criticize the stripper living in poverty for trying to make some money, but we do criticize her actions of going online and bragging about the perks of her job without any self-reflection to impressionable young girls. There are, admittedly, some classist undertones in informed-choice feminism, namely the ‘informed’ part. As Bell Hooks rightfully states in her book, Feminism is for Everybody, there is a class divide between those who can study feminist philosophy versus those who cannot afford to. Naturally, this makes informed-choice feminism difficult to practice for those who cannot afford to get informed formally. Some other feminists, like Margret Atwood, or maybe even Andrea Dworkin may argue that no matter what we do, men will always find a way to fetishize our actions.* Even having fulfilling sex untarnished by the patriarchy is victim to a man’s fetishization, so why bother? To that, I mention that it is important that we also include men when we talk about the need to self-reflect and dismantle internalized misogyny. Some men may fetishize our healthy sex practices, and I agree that this is unavoidable, but we cannot give up in the fight to stop men who are attracted to and promote sexual violence against women. Assuming that men are the problem does nothing but excuse their behavior and cannot actually prevent things like violent porn or sex-worker harassment from happening. 

So what can informed-choice feminists do to both make this form of feminism more accessible as well as actually prevent people from promoting and being attracted to sexual violence against women? This is where consciousness-raising, as promoted by Bell Hooks, becomes crucial to our empowerment. Accessible consciousness-raising, whether it is hosting discussion circles in neighborhood homes, making feminist theory pdfs free on the internet, or giving free public lectures, all helps people become aware of their internalized misogyny and helps them get rid of it, which leads to more fulfilling sex, work and home lives for all people involved. This will not be easy, and even I have had to examine why I do the things I do, or like the things I like, so we all need to give each other some patience (and grace), because the patriarchy affects all of us, and it is only through promoting and protecting true, sensible, joy and fulfillment in people that we can begin to dismantle this patriarchy. 

* “Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” (Atwood) 

Works Cited

Adviser, and Ilena M. “When Stem Is Forced on Girls.” Spyglass, 1 May 2020, https://westridgespyglass.org/1322/middle-school/when-stem-is-forced-on-girls/. 

“Choice Feminism's Honey Trap.” Choice Feminism's Honey Trap ~, 1 Jan. 1970, http://contemporarycondition.blogspot.com/2014/03/choice-feminisms-honey-trap.html. 

Dworkin, Andrea, et al. “Last Days at Hot Slit: The Radical Feminism of Andrea Dworkin Download ( 282 Pages: Free ).” Download ( 282 Pages | Free ), https://www.pdfdrive.com/last-days-at-hot-slit-the-radical-feminism-of-andrea-dworkin-e195290019.html. 

“'Everyone and Their Mum Is on It': Onlyfans Booms in Popularity during the Pandemic.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 22 Dec. 2020, https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/dec/23/everyone-and-their-mum-is-on-it-onlyfans-boomed-in-popularity-during-the-pandemic. 

“Pornhub's Annual Report: Can You Guess the Most Popular Porn Categories in 2019?” Fight the New Drug, https://fightthenewdrug.org/2019-pornhub-annual-report/. 

Wall, Thompson. “Sheryl Sandberg on What's Wrong with the Workplace.” Inc.com, Inc., 24 Mar. 2015, https://www.inc.com/thompson-wall/five-tips-on-conquering-the-workplace-from-facebook-coo-sheryl-sandberg.html.