Is She Asian Enough?
Story by Bella Wexler based on anonymous interview, artwork by Mallika Sunder
She is a quarter Japanese. That’s 25% too Japanese to be white and 75% too white to be Japanese, at least in the eyes of others. In a culture that thrives off of compartmentalization, She has grown up straddling two ethnic categories and, as a result, has struggled to find herself without constantly feeling pressured to prove her identity to those around her.
It was during the Korean War when her Japanese grandmother fell in love with a German-American soldier and moved with him to America. Together, they raised her father. In 1970s-80s America, whitewashing was normalized via racist traditions like “slap the Jap” day at school. It didn’t take long for her dad to shun his Japanese roots, dissociate from his mother’s culture, and assimilate into American society. As a result, She wasn’t raised in a Japanese speaking household with many elements of her grandmother’s native culture. It is a loss of heritage for which her father has since expressed regret.
Despite this, She recalls many subtle ways in which her Japanese heritage has influenced her and her siblings. “We learned how to use chopsticks when we learned how to use forks,” She notes, “I really thought it was something everyone just did”. She also enrolled in martial arts classes from a young age and was inspired after watching her older sister study Japanese in college to begin learning it herself. With her city’s small Japanese community, She was limited to independent study. As a result, She has only been able to pick up bits and pieces of the language so far. But, each step in her learning process leads her closer to understanding her heritage. This is apparent every time She calls her Japanese-speaking grandmother on the phone. She hopes to deepen her cultural connectivity by joining the Asian Americans club at her university next year while concurrently taking Japanese classes.
However, engaging in Asian communities isn’t always easy for her. As a white-passing Asian American often referred to as “exotic” by white Americans and a weeb* by Asian people, She sometimes feels the need to “earn” her place in her own skin and identity.
That being said, She believes there is a definite advantage to being “white passing” when it comes to racial profiling and discrimination. On the other hand, it can also leave her feeling isolated since neither Japanese people nor white people seem to fully accept or identify with her experience. It is a dilemma faced by countless multiracial people around the globe. In her case, She has used her unique background to better understand her interests and grow as an individual. She is shaped by her multifaceted heritage but defined by her own personality and interests. More importantly, She is committed to using her privilege to effect positive change, especially for people of color in America. Having shown public support for the Black Lives Matter movement via attendance at candlelight vigils and the creation of her own fundraisers on social media, She is an advocate for those who “can’t pass” as white and will do whatever She can to “get their voices heard” while continuing to explore her own. She is a dynamic, Japanese-American individual whose identity is not ours to define.
* weeb – short for “weeaboo”, a derisive slang term for any non-Japanese person obsessed with Japanese popular culture, in some cases to the point of fetishization.
