The Only Ones

Story by Bella Wexler, Illustration by Mallika Sunder

If you have ever felt like the only one out of place or the only one who knows you truly don’t deserve the credit you’ve been given, then you’re like most people. In fact, nearly everyone has at some point struggled to realize that the feelings that make them the most emotionally isolated are often the ones most universally felt. One major cause of this phenomenon is Imposter Syndrome. 

Coined by psychologists Dr. Suzanne Imes, PhD and Dr. Pauline Rose Chance, PhD in the 1970s, Imposter Syndrome is associated with the inability to accept one’s successes as direct results of their merits. Anxiety is then compounded by the fear of others discovering the “truth” of their inadequacy. 

It turns out, such unfounded feelings of fraudulence are often rooted in an obsession with the praise received for one’s academic or professional accomplishments. “In our society there’s a huge pressure to achieve,” says Dr. Suzanne Imes, PhD. “There can be a lot of confusion between approval and love and worthiness. Self-worth becomes contingent on achieving” (Weir 2013). So, in order to deserve happiness or success, one believes they must consistently achieve goals that earn higher and higher external praise. Yet each bit of praise is met with a fear that it was undeserved, fueling a constant and exhausting cycle of achieving more in a vain attempt to prove to oneself that it will one day be enough. 

According to Dr. Brian Daniel Norton, a New York-based psychotherapist, “women, women of color—especially black women—, as well as the LGBTQ community are most at risk” (Nance-Nash 2020). And, given the nature of the environments in which Imposter Syndrome is felt, it’s not hard to understand why. Those who have been historically excluded from educational and corporate settings are likely to experience more psychological challenges in navigating their places among the ranks. Even Maureen Zappala, a former propulsion engineer for NASA, recalls constantly questioning her worthiness of the position. “For years I thought NASA only hired me because they needed women… I worked long hours to try to prove myself. I was too afraid to ask for help because I thought if I’m really as smart as they think I am, I shouldn’t need the help, and I should be able to figure this out on my own” (Nance-Nash 2020).

So, if these feelings of inadequacy are so ubiquitous, why are they so continuously isolating? After all, if one could relate to just a single other person also questioning themselves, the realization that they are not alone in having such intrusive thoughts could be enough to stop the spiral. Unfortunately, it can be hard to reach out and connect with the countless others experiencing similar feelings when the feelings themselves are punctuated by an irrational fear of being ‘found out.’ Why would an imposter reveal themself to the people who have every right to be there? Yet without doing so, how will they ever realize that they actually also have every right to be there?

As New Years resolutions begin to take effect, I hope that we can resolve to not just approach these questions with the desire to break the self-perpetuating cycle, but more importantly with the desire to cut it off at the root. Worthiness should not be defined by achievement. Rather, it should be intrinsically acknowledged and appreciated. After all, we cannot possibly be imposters in our own lives if we finally accept that there aren’t qualifications for living in them.

Works Cited:

Nance-Nash, Sheryl. “Why Imposter Syndrome Hits Women and Women of Colour Harder.” Www.bbc.com, 28 July 2020, www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200724-why-imposter-syndrome-hits-women-and-women-of-colour-harder.

Weir, Kirsten. “Feel like a Fraud?” Https://Www.apa.org, 2013, www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud.